


He Was The Most Beautiful Man

by Equilcy



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-15 13:41:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29065236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Equilcy/pseuds/Equilcy
Summary: Remus sees 'the most beautiful man' one day in the library and he slowly starts falling in love with him, he's too shy to ever do anything about it, but even if he wasn't theres no way a guy like 'him' could ever notice Remus. Right?
Relationships: Jily - Relationship, wolfstar - Relationship
Comments: 8
Kudos: 60





	He Was The Most Beautiful Man

**Author's Note:**

> This is a non magical College Au, SOOOOO much fluff, Their relationship is really sweet and it has a happy ending because Wolfstar shippers need that:)

The first time Remus noticed the _most beautiful man_ he'd _ever_ seen was in the library. The Man seemed to be a few years older than him, he was reading a book and taking notes. He was beautiful in a way Remus hadn't ever seen. Not only were his clothes impeccable, his whole appearance was strong and masculine. Of course Remus had seen people dress that way but the way we pulled it off was something else. There was a shine to his hair that seemed so real and natural, not like it was put there by a lot of products.

Remus could only see his profile, but he just knew the man had the most beautiful eyes. Remus wished he could see those eyes. Eyes had always been his favorite feature in a person. So much could be read about someone just by looking into their eyes. But the man kept staring into his books and didn't look up. Which was probably a good thing because if he did, Remus would be caught staring.

It was impossible for Remus to take his eyes away from him. He did this thing where he scrunched his nose when he seemed to read something that didn't make sense to him. It might be the cutest thing had ever seen. He wanted to have the kind of courage where he could walk up and say hello, but Remus was shy, he embarrassed himself easily, it was probably his least favorite thing about himself, and even if he did have the courage there was no way a guy like _that_ would ever like him back.

The second time Remus saw the most beautiful man he'd ever seen was when he was walking across campus from one class to the next. The beautiful man was standing in a crowd of people, friends Remus assumed, having everyone's attention, making everyone around him laugh. Remus wished he could be in that crowd. That he could be a friend to this man. Remus was never the center of attention, he was always on the outside looking in. But it was fine, he wasn't bothered by the fact that his friends were loud. He preferred to be the one tagging along.

He was so caught up in staring at the beautiful man that he didn't notice the group of people he suddenly walked into. A girl who got her back shoved by Remus’s moving body let out a loud yelp. "Watch where you're going, twat," she said. Loud. Loud enough for everyone around to hear. And everyone did hear. And laughed.

Remus felt mortified. He was so clumsy, it was his long lanky legs, he was sure of it. He should watch where he was going instead of daydreaming about a man that was so far out of his league it was ridiculous. He said he was sorry, but the girls had already forgotten about him, turned their backs to him again.

When Remus looked up, the most beautiful man he had ever seen was looking at him. Remus's cheeks turned beet red. This was just his luck. Of course the man would notice him when he was making a fool out of himself. Remus wanted to escape to his dorm room, crawl under his cover and hide away until the winter holidays.

But then the strangest thing happened. The beautiful man smiled at him. It was small, but it definitely was a smile. It was pity, that's what it was, Remus thought to himself. He felt pity for the clumsy boy who walked into people. Remus was too embarrassed to do anything but look at his own feet and hurry to his next class.

The third and the fourth times were both in the library. Remus was beginning to feel like a stalker. These were all random meetings, but suddenly the beautiful man was everywhere. Maybe they'd crossed paths before, without Remus noticing, although how that could have happened Remus wasn't sure. This man would stand out from any crowd, Remus thought, and not noticing him would be impossible.

Remus kept stealing glances, unable to focus as much as he would have liked on his own books. Once he was caught. Remus was staring, without knowing. He was lost in thoughts about this man, wondering what it would be like to be in his presence. He had fantasies about coffee dates and walks across campus grounds. Nothing more, because there was a limit to how much Remus dared to let his daydreams stray.

There was a loud laughter coming from somewhere that made Remus jump in his chair. Laughter was rare in this quiet library, any sound really was unusual. Back in reality, back from his fantasies, he realized he was staring, but not only that, the beautiful man was looking back at him.Remus quickly gathered his books and fled the library. He'd made a fool of himself. Again. He couldn't believe he let himself get caught up in his daydreams, to the extent that he had probably been staring at the man for a very long time. So long in fact that the man felt it and had to look at him to make him stop staring. He was so stupid. He needed to get those fantasies out of his head. Nothing good would come from them, he was sure of that. They weren't even realistic. Remus was a freshman and the man was probably a senior. Why would someone like him be even remotely interested in someone like Remus?

Remus stayed away from the library for a week after that. There was no need to be at the library, not really. He could study anywhere. It was just, the library was his favorite place on campus. It was quiet and all the books he needed were there. After one week he dared to return. He took a different seat than he normally did, in a quiet corner far away from the usual study spots. Far away from where he had seen the beautiful man do his studying.

He had gathered all the books he needed, organized them into neat piles in the order he needed them. His notebook was there as was his favorite pencil. He was so deep into the second book of the day that he didn't notice the beautiful man until he sat down on the empty chair across from his.

"What are you reading?" The man asked.

Remus was so startled, not being used to being disturbed when studying, that he let out a small squeal. When he looked up, his cheeks turned bright red and he became speechless. The beautiful man's voice was the most beautiful sound Remus had ever heard. Why was he sitting across from him? Had he done something wrong? Had he taken someone's spot? He was pretty sure the table was free before he sat down.

The beautiful man looked over his pile of books and down at the book in front of Remus. He lifted it so that he could see the cover. "Ah, you're taking English lit. With Professor Mcgonagall, I assume?"

Remus could only nod his reply.

"I took that class my freshman year too," the man said. "If you want any pointers, let me know."

Remus nodded again. Again wondering what the beautiful man was doing there.

"I'm Sirius by the way," the man said.

"Remus," Remus managed to get out.

"A beautiful name to a beautiful man," Sirius smiled and winked.

Remus turned into an even darker shade of red. Was Sirius making fun of him? It didn't seem as if he did, but what else could it be? It didn't even cross Remus’s mind that this man, Sirius, could think of him as beautiful.

"Are you making fun of me?" Remus dared to ask.

"Why would I do that?" Sirius asked in return, his smile turned into a frown. "You do know that you are beautiful, right?"

Remus wanted to tell Sirius that he was the beautiful one, but he could never say those words out loud. Instead he bowed his head and looked down at his books. Sirius thought he was beautiful. Remus still wasn't entirely convinced Sirius was serious, but the words still made him his heart flutter.

"Do you mind if I sit here and study?" Sirius asked him, already picking up his books from his bag.

"No, it's okay," Remus said, but how he'd get any studying done with Sirius sitting across from him and his heart beating uncontrollably fast, he had no idea.

It sort of became a daily thing after that. Remus found the quiet place in the library and Sirius came to sit down across from him to study. Sometimes they talked, sometimes they just sat there in silence, reading and taking notes. Remus had to put in extra hours in his room studying every night, because at the library he couldn't focus on the words in front of him.

Remus had no idea why Sirius chose to sit with him when there were literally hundreds of places to choose from, but he didn't dwell on it. Didn't let his mind get carried away with unattainable dreams and unrealistic hopes. Instead, he kept those moments in his heart and treasured them. He told himself to not get too attached, because he knew Sirius would soon grow tired of his quiet nature and find someone else to talk to.

The thing was though, Sirius kept coming back. For weeks Sirius came back to sit across from him. He didn't seem bothered by Remus's laconic ways. He encouraged Remus to talk and express his opinion, but didn't seem bothered when Remus shied away from it. Remus was falling so hard and so uncontrollably for this man, it scared him. He could never have someone like _him_ , he knew that, but he couldn't stop his heart from belonging to him.

He knew he was setting himself up for heartbreak, but decided to enjoy the moments he'd have with Sirius before they inevitably ended. He'd felt heartache before and he knew he could handle it.

Remus was usually very punctual, he always got to the library at the same time. He wanted to be there before Sirius arrived, didn't want to miss out on the maybe small talk they'd have. And even if they didn't talk, just sitting across from the most beautiful man, stealing glances, Remus didn't want to miss out on that either. So when one afternoon, his professor held him back after class to discuss his latest essay, Remus was close to freaking out.

He didn't really hear what his professor said or what he agreed to do, all he could think about was missing time with Sirius. If he wasn't there when Sirius arrived maybe Sirius would leave and never come back. He practically ran to the library after his professor let him go, arrived out of breath, cheeks flustered, his coat only halfway on, expecting to find an empty table. Only it wasn't empty. Sirius was sitting there, as were two cups of coffee.

"I'm sorry I'm late," Remus managed to get out between breaths. "My professor…" he continued but then he had to stop because he couldn't catch his breath and talk at the same time.

"Relax Remus, there are no appointments to keep here," Sirius said and smiled. "You're timing is perfect."

Remus sat down in his usual chair, relaxing, smiling back.

"I brought you some coffee," Sirius said. "I walked by your classroom and saw you talking to your professor. He looked stern so I thought you might need some coffee. I don't know what you like so I got you the same as me, a nonfat mocha."

"That's perfect," Remus said even though that wasn't at all what he'd usually drink. But Sirius brought him coffee, it didn't really matter what it tasted like.

He took a small, tentative sip, and even though he would probably not try this kind again, he appreciated the taste. They sat in silence for a while after that, Sirius studying and Remus trying to get his breathing and heartbeat under control. Sirius walked by his classroom. Did he know which classes Remus took? Or did he just happen to walk by?

"There's a party at my frat house tonight," Sirius said after a few minutes. "I was wondering if you would like to come."

Remus had never been to a frat party, nor could he picture himself attending one. He wanted to spend more time with Siriust, but at the same time he still wasn't quite sure why Sirius kept coming back to his table every day. Maybe he was part of some practical joke and tonight would be the night where he'd be the laughing stock in front of everyone.

"I-I don't think I'll fit in," Remus said, cheeks reddening, eyes darting away.

"Of course you will,Remus. You'll be with me."

"Thank you for asking, but I think I will have to say no," Remus said, even though he would like nothing more than to spend time with Sirius. It was just… Remus knew how this would turn out. Maybe Sirius would be there and say hello to him, but soon his friends would drag him away and Remus would be left standing alone, feeling awkward, at a party where he knew no one.

"Frat parties aren't really my thing either," Sirius then surprised Remus with saying. "Want to go and grab something to eat tonight instead?"

Was Sirius really turning down a party to spend time with Remus? Remus could hardly believe it. His heart was beating so fast, the thought of spending time alone with Sirius outside the library made his mind spin. It almost felt like a date. Remus knew it wasn't, but he liked to dream.

"Y-yes, I would like that," Remus answered, meeting Sirius's eyes.

Sirius's eyes were shining like the sun, his smile grew bigger. "Great, it's a date then. I'll pick you up outside your dorm at eight."

"You know where I live?" Remus asked, not wanting to focus on the it's a date thing, because surely that was just something Sirius would say without actually meaning what Remus wanted it to mean.

Sirius thought for a moment “Maybe…” He winked at Remus, this was the second time he did this and it was even better than the first. 

Remus was nervous the entire evening before he was supposed to meet Sirius. He couldn't get the ‘it's a date’ thing out of his head. He knew he shouldn't get his hopes up, but he also knew he was head over heels in love with Sirius. He had no idea where Sirius was taking him, but he wanted to look nice, so he picked out his nicest casual knitted sweater, and fluffed his hair to perfection, he nervously paced his room until it was ten to eight and he couldn't stand to be in there anymore.

When he got outside, he was surprised to find Sirius already there, waiting for him. He was even more surprised to see Sirius carrying a blanket and a picnic basket.

"I know it's the end of September and that the picnic season is practically over," Sirius said when he met Remus's questioning glances, "but the weather promised to stay mild tonight, and, well… my roommate's girlfriend gave me the idea," Sirius continued. And was that a blush to his cheeks? "I hope you don't mind."

Remus loved picnics, too. And he didn't care about the weather. He'd happily have a picnic in the snow if Sirius had suggested it.

"I love it!" Remus's excitement was hard to miss.

"Great!" Sirius said and appeared to relax. "I was thinking we could go to the park on Market Street, it's not that far away."

Throughout their walk, Remus kept wondering why Sirius would go through such an effort to prepare a picnic for him. But Sirius had told him he loved picnics so Remus didn't dwell on it too much. Instead he offered to carry the basket, Sirius only let him carry the blanket.

Their hands brushed against each other a few times on their walk. Each time it was like a jolt of electricity rushed through Remus and he wondered how it would feel to touch Sirius, to feel his skin under his fingertips. He was sure it would feel amazing, but he was also sure it would stay in his fantasies.

They were in the middle of a conversation about the new coffee shop that had just opened outside of campus grounds, when once again their hands brushed against each other. Only this time, Sirius’s fingers ended up laced with Remus's.

Remus didn't dare to look at Sirius, afraid that Sirius would realize what he was doing and retract his hand. It wasn't a proper hand holding, just the tips of their fingers holding on to each other, but to Remus this was everything. The butterflies in his stomach were having a party and his heart was beating in sync with the upbeat party music. Touching Sirius did feel amazing.

Sirius continued to talk as though he had no idea of what he was doing or how it affected Remus.

The park was quiet and the only other people out tonight seemed to be dog walkers. Sirius took Remus on one of the smaller paths leading away from the main area to a more secluded part of the park. There, not too far from the path, but not too close either, Sirius selected a spot on the grass for them to put down the blanket. It was getting dark but a nearby lamp post offered a dull yellow glow.

Remus missed the feeling of Sirius's fingers against his own. Now that he knew what it felt like, he wanted to hold Sirius's hand all the time. But it was probably for the better to not get used to such things.

They sat down on the blanket and Sirius started to unpack the basket. Remus couldn't believe it, each thing that Sirius put out in front of him was something that he loved. There was pasta salad, chicken sandwiches, slices of melon and pineapple, and pumpkin juice. Remus loved pumpkin juice. How did Sirius know?

"This is all delicious," Remus said after he'd tasted a bite of everything. "Where did you get all of this? I need to go there and buy some for myself."

“I made it, well My roommate's girlfriend helped, she's great at this," Sirius answered.

Again Remus wondered why Sirius had gone through so much trouble for him. He actually dared to ask that question out loud.

"Haven't you figured that out yet?" Sirius asked, a smile playing on his lips.

Figured out what? Remus didn't understand what he was supposed to figure out. Remus nodded and pretended to understand what Sirius was talking about. Sirius tilted his head and gave Remus a look he didn't understand. Then Sirius started to talk about something else and whatever that was, was gone.

Remus found himself relaxing in Sirius's presence. Sirius made him feel comfortable in a way no one else he'd ever met had. He was interested in Remus, asked questions and listened. He made Remus want to share his thoughts and tell Sirius things he hadn't told anyone else. If it was possible Remus would fall even deeper, but he didn't think it was.

Sirius moved closer, put his hand on Remus's. "Look up there," Sirius said before Remus barely had time to register the touch. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to see, but Remus's gaze followed Sirius's finger up towards the sky. "That's Mars."

Remus saw the red planet shining big and bright. "I see it," he said.

"Mars is the God of War in Roman mythology," Sirius said.

Remus knew this but he didn't understand why Sirius was pointing it out.

"And that silvery shining planet over there," Sirius said and pointed a little below Mars, "is Venus, the Goddess of Love."

Remus had just found the silvery planet in the night sky, when Sirius leaned in close, blocking Remus's line of vision and pressed his lips against Remus's.

Remus didn't understand what was happening or what he was supposed to do. So he did nothing, his mind too busy with taking in the fact that Sirius's lips were on his.

Sirius pulled away, looking down, looking mortified. "I'm sorry, I thought…" he trailed off.

Oh God! Remus was finally catching on. Sirius was kissing him and he just sat there like an idiot, doing nothing.

"No." Remus said, too loud. Sirius looked startled and now Remus was the one feeling mortified. He looked down at his hands, not daring to look at Sirius. "I'm sorry…"

Remus felt a finger tilting his chin up, and when he looked up, Sirius's face was right there, next to his.

"Did you not like that? Was it too soon?" Sirius asked, his features worried.

"No, I liked it," Remus said, his cheeks were burning but his eyes were firm on Sirius’s. He'd liked it so much his brain had stopped functioning.

"Do you want me to do it again?" Sirius asked, worry turned into softness.

"Yes, please," Remus answered and then Sirius's lips were on his again. This time, Remus didn't just sit there. This time, Remus received and gave in return. His hand sneaked up around the nape of Sirius's neck, his fingers felt the soft hair there. Sirius hummed into his mouth as their tongues swirled around each other and it might be the most heavenly thing Remus had ever experienced.

Remus might actually have whimpered and chased after Sirius's lips when Sirius pulled away. Sirius chuckled softly and placed a kiss on Remus's nose. Remus leaned his forehead against Sirius's shoulder, not believing that just happened. Sirius kissed him. Twice. Sirius might actually like him. He wasn't quite convinced yet, but it sure felt like it.

"God, you're adorable," Sirius whispered.

"Do you really think that?" Remus asked and sat back.

"Remus…" Sirius said and sighed. "Come here," Sirius made place for Remus Between his legs and Remus happily settled in, back against Sirius's chest, head resting on Sirius's shoulder. He was slightly nervous about what Sirius was going to say. He still wasn't sure why someone like Sirius would like someone like him.

Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus before he began. "Not knowing how adorable you are, makes you even more adorable."

Remus felt warmth spreading throughout his body, and it wasn't only because Sirius's arms were wrapped around him like a blanket on a cold autumn day.

"I really like you, Remus."

"Why?" Remus knew he shouldn't ask, shouldn't let his insecurities shine through, but he really didn't understand and he needed to understand. He needed to figure out what this was.

"You're beautiful inside and out, without knowing it. You're the kindest and sweetest person I know. You make my heart race whenever you look at me, which is a lot," Sirius said with a little laugh and Remus was glad he was facing away because he was sure he was blushing. Sirius had noticed all the times he'd been stealing glances. "Your smile just makes me melt, Remus," Sirius continued. "Your knitted sweaters are incredibly cute and you're just truly unique."

Remus didn't know what to do with all those beautiful words from the beautiful man behind him. But he took them and pocketed them in his heart so that he could take them out and cherish them at a later moment.

"I like you, too," Remus admitted. It felt strange to say it out loud. He'd been keeping the words hidden for weeks, afraid they would slip out at an ill-considered moment. Now he could say them and it felt strange and freeing at the same time. "You have beautiful eyes."

"Do you really think so?" Sirius asked with a grin 

"God, they’re the most beautiful shade of blue I've ever seen, I could stare at them all day long." Remus had studied them, he knew.

"Remus…" Sirius was speechless. Remus did that.

They sat like that, Sirius wrapped around Remus, Remus leaning his body against Sirius's, talking, enjoying being close, for hours. It wasn't until after midnight that it got too cold and they had to give in and admit that they were both freezing. Remus didn't want to go home, didn't want to leaveSirius, but he knew the night couldn't go on forever, no matter how much he'd like it to.

They parted with a kiss after Sirius had asked for Remus's phone number. Remus spent the greater part of the night and the next morning wondering what was going to happen now. Was Sirius his boyfriend? When would they meet again? Would they meet again? They hadn't talked about any of those things and Remus cursed his shyness for not asking the important questions.

He had Sirius's number, but now he was wondering how soon he could call without seeming clingy. Sirius didn't appear to have the same problem as he called Remus at ten the next morning, asking him out for breakfast.

They spent most of the weekend together, holding hands, kissing, cuddling, getting to know each other. By Sunday evening Sirius had called Remus his boyfriend more than once.

Monday brought on a new set of worries for Remus. Would they continue with their library dates or was that a thing of the past now that they were boyfriends. Remus loved the moments they shared there and didn't want to miss out on them.

He dared to send a text to Sirius and ask. If he could print and frame Sirius's reply he would.

**Sirius**

**There's nowhere I'd rather be then right where you are.**

One night two weekends away, when they were out with Sirius's friends, Remus surprised Sirius with kissing him in front of them. Remus never did that. Never initiated intimacy in public, he was scared Sirius might not like it. Remus still didn't want to seem clingy and needy. He didn't want to risk anything by pushing himself onto Sirius. When Sirius stiffened, Remus knew he'd made a mistake. He should just stick to let Sirius decide the pace.

When he took a step back, blushing and feeling mortified, Sirius put a hand on the small of his back to stop him.

"Don't," Sirius said.

Clearly a huge mistake was made. Remus couldn't believe he was so stupid to kiss Sirius in front of his friends. It was just, they'd had a great time that night. Sirius had been happy and relaxed and so attentive to Remus. Remus had wanted to reciprocate that with a kiss, had wanted to show him how much that meant to him. But now Sirius was telling him ‘don't kiss me’. Remus wanted to say 'I'm sorry', but he was too mortified to say anything.

"Don't step away from me," Sirius said softly and pulled Remus closer. "I'm sorry, I was just surprised. I've wanted to kiss you all night, but I wasn't sure you'd wanted me too."

"I always want to kiss you," Remus confessed.

"Me too," Sirius confessed in return. "You know you can, right? That I want you to."

Remus nodded, a shy smile on his lips. Now he knew. From that day on he had no problem with kissing Sirius in public.

Sirius’s friends, James, Lily, Marlene and Mary called them sickeningly sweet and ridiculously in love. And now Remus had something new to worry about. Was Sirius in love with him? He hadn't told Remus so. Had he told his friends? Remus knew he was in love with Sirius, that he had been since long before they became boyfriends. But how did Sirius feel?

"What do you want to do?" Sirius asked one sunny Sunday afternoon, when they were lazily lying in Sirius's bed.

"I don't know. You can decide," Remus answered casually. Whatever Sirius wanted to do was fine. It was probably what Remus wanted to do too.

"No Remus, what do you want to do?"

Nobody had ever asked Remus that. Not in a long time anyway. Remus didn't really know what to answer. He wasn't used to voicing his opinion. But if he thought about it there was one thing he did want to do. "I want to take a walk around the lake. Holding your hand." It was a beautiful early November day outside. The air was crisp and the sun was shining. Walking hand in hand around the lake with someone had always been a fantasy of Remus's.

"Then that's what we're doing," Sirius said. He smiled and pulled Remus in for a little kiss. "See, that wasn't so hard was it?"

Remus blushed. It was and it wasn't. Sirius made it easy. Sirius pushed him to be a better person.

They got dressed in wool coats with thick scarves wrapped around their necks. They forwent gloves in favor of proper hand holding. There were always a lot of people by the lake, especially on days like that. There were fellow students, families with children, senior citizens, almost everyone it seemed were out walking today.

Remus walked proudly beside him, holding his hand, pointing out things on their way. Sometimes he stopped just so that he could give Sirius a kiss. Remus thought this must be what heaven felt like. He couldn't believe he was so lucky to have Sirius as his boyfriend. To have the beautiful man want his kisses. That he was proud to be with Remus. That he didn't care who saw them together. That feeling gave Remus new courage.

"What do you feel like doing tonight?" Sirius asked when they're about halfway around the lake.

"There's a new show at the performing arts center," Remus said. "I would like to see it."

"Oh, I've heard that it's really good," Sirius said.

"There are two shows per night, but I've heard that the late show on Sundays is something extra. Apparently the performers get a little tipsy between shows and the second show is a little less family friendly. I would like to see that one," Remus said and felt a little naughty.

"Remus!" Sirius said, sounding shocked, but then he laughed and Remus knew he was only teasing him. "That sounds like a great idea. I love it!" Sirius added excitedly.

"I love you," Remus said.

He hadn't meant to say it, but now that he had, he didn't regret it. He loved Sirius and he wanted him to know it.

But when Sirius stopped in his tracks, turned to look at him, stunned, it appeared. Remus thought he maybe shouldn't have said it after all. Sirius was trying to find a way to let him down gently. Trying to find a way to say thank you, but I'm not there yet.

Despite that, Remus didn't want to take back his words. He loved Sirius, whether Sirius loved him back or not, he wasn't going to back down from his own feelings. He kept his eyes firmly on Sirius.

Sirius took a step closer to Remus, pulled Remus by his scarf until his face was close to Sirius's. "You always surprise me with these things. Never say what I expect you to say," Sirius said, his breath close to Remus's mouth. "I love you, too, Remus."

"Oh, thank God," Remus breathed out. Sirius chuckled.

"Did you not think I did?" Sirius asked. Remus shrugged. He didn't want to assume.

"I love you so much," Sirius said and kissed him, once, twice. "I thought it might scare you if I told you."

"Why would it scare me?" Remus didn't understand. How could Sirius telling him the one thing he'd been longing to hear, scare him?

"You're so special, Remus," Sirius started. "Everything about you… it just blows my mind that I get to be with you, that you want to call me your boyfriend."

It blew Sirius's mind? Remus could hardly believe it. It was Remus's mind that was blown.

"I've been in love with you since long before you knew I existed," Remus admitted. "I used to watch you in the library when you were studying."

"I spotted you on the first day of the semester," Sirius surprised Remus with saying, "so I don't believe that is true."

"What?" Remus was confused.

"You stand out in a crowd, Remus," Sirius said. "And not in the negative sense that you are thinking right now," he added as if he could read Remus's mind.

"In what way then?" Remus was curious. They had never really discussed what Sirius saw in Remus.

"You're beautiful, like movie star handsome, Remus. You have this cute little smile, your eyes sparkle with excitement, even your walk is cute. I could not not notice you. During orientation I tried to switch to your group, to be your guide, but I couldn't."

"You noticed me on my first day of campus?" Remus had a hard time fathoming that anyone, let alone Sirius, noticed him. "You saw me before I saw you?"

"Yes, and I also noticed you looking at me in the library."

Remus blushed. Sirius had seen him stealing glances. "You were the most beautiful man I've ever seen," Remus said.

"Were?" Sirius teased, but that completely flew above Remus's head.

"I mean are," Remus hurried to say. "You are the most beautiful man I've ever seen."

"Have I ever told you how adorable you are?" Sirius said and pulled Remus in for another kiss. Right there in the middle of the path where everyone could see them.

"Maybe once or twice," Remus said, out of breath after the kiss, mischievous smile on his lips. "Maybe I need to be reminded once in a while."

He took Sirius's hand in his as they started to walk back to Sirius's place. Remus was on cloud nine. Sirius saw him. Like, wow. Sirius saw him.

  
  


Their first time was Remus's first time ever. Sirius was incredibly gentle and made sure Remus was okay with everything they did. He was so caring, so sweet, Remus felt like crying. When Sirius pushed inside him, tears actually welled up in Remus's eyes. Sirius thought it was because he was hurting Remus and wanted to stop. But it was anything but painful. It was everything Remus ever imagined it would be and more. He pulled Sirius in for a kiss because he couldn't find the right words to say at that moment. A kiss was the only way he could let Sirius know that he didn't want him to stop, that he would want to stay there forever if he could. Soon, Remus was seeing stars and sweet Jesus, Remus never imagined it would be that.

Afterwards, Sirius asked him about the tears. Remus tried to explain, but he wasn't sure if Sirius really understood. Understood that being there with Sirius, being loved by Sirius, was everything to Remus. Sirius saw him. Nobody had seen Remus until Sirius stepped into his life.

When Christmas was around the corner, Remus started worrying about spending time away from Sirius. It wasn't something he was looking forward to. Sirius seemed to be worrying too, could it be about that same thing?

Sirius, of course, noticed that Remus wasn't his usual chipper self.

"What's wrong, Love?" He asked one night when they were out drinking coffee at Remus's favorite coffee place. Sirius knew Remus's coffee order by now.

"Nothing," Remus deflected. "Have you tasted these ginger and cinnamon cookies? They're delicious."

"Remus. What's bothering you? Don't tell me it's nothing, I know you well enough to know that this is not nothing."

Remus sighed. He told Sirius about not wanting to go home and spend time without him. He told him he was going to miss him like crazy and that the thought of spending weeks away from Sirius made him miserable. Then he added that he knew he was being silly for feeling that way because spending time apart was only healthy (or so he'd read).

"I feel that same way, besides I don’t get along with my family, I would probably stay here," Sirius said in a soft tone.

“Then you’re coming home with me.” Remus said as if he didn't have any hesitation at all

"I couldn't,"Sirius said. "I can't interfere in your Christmas celebrations with your family." Although that was pretty much all he wished for Christmas that year.

"Nonsense, you're coming home with me. I'm not going to let you spend Christmas practically alone feeling miserable. Do you know how miserable I would be if I'd let you do that? Besides, my Mom is dying to meet you."

So it was settled. Sirius was spending Christmas with Remus and his Mom. He was so nervous the entire trip. Remus told him to stop worrying when Sirius was looking through the airplane magazine for the seventh time. But Sirius couldn't help it. He had never met a boyfriend's parent. When Sirius started memorizing the onboard menu, Remus took it away from him and kissed him until he relaxed. He kissed him there, in the middle of an airplane, where everyone could see them. This was a new side of Sirius he hadn’t seen before, it made him feel better knowing he wasn’t the only one that got that way.

Hope was everything Sirius’s mother wasn't. She was friendly, welcoming, and caring. She listened, paid attention to Remus's opinions and She loved her son. Sirius felt more at home in the Lupin residence than he ever had in the big house he grew up in.

Christmas was magical. There were board games played in the living room, late night conversations over hot chocolate in the kitchen, morning cuddles in Remus's bed and long walks in the snow. There were snow angels, and snowball fights where Remus accidentally hit Sirius right in the face and he spent 15 minutes apologizing. The only way for Sirius to get him to stop was by wrestling Remus down in the snow and attach his lips to Remus's. Sirius's lips were cold. Remus wanted to keep pressing his lips against Sirius's so that they'd get warm again.

There was even a picnic in the snow. Sirius took Remus to a nearby park, and even though they were sitting on a bench and not a blanket, it made Remus reminisce about the first time Sirius kissed him. Once those images were in his mind he couldn't stop kissing Sirius. Soon the hot chocolate was cold because there were two men kissing on a bench and none of them cared about drinking chocolate while it was still hot.

Once, when Remus was in the shower, Sirius found himself alone with Hope in the living room. Hope was on her favorite spot of the couch, and Sirius curled up on the love seat. The TV was showing some show Sirius wasn't really interested in. He didn't mention anything to Hope, Sirius was a guest and this was Hope's home. He was happy with lying there, daydreaming about Remus in the shower.

"Is Remus treating you with respect?" The TV was muted and Hope had turned to look at him.

"Of course, Ma’am," Sirius answered finding the question odd.

"I've told you to call me Hope, son," Hope continued, voice kind and warm.

A warm feeling spread throughout Sirius's body. His own Mother would never call him son with such affection. Sirius had tried to call her Hope, but it was difficult. It was the way he was brought up. He'd been calling his mother ‘Ma’am’ his entire life. Calling Hope by her real name felt disrespectful. But he'd try harder.

"I know Remus can be a bit much at times," Hope continued.

That didn't sound like the Remus he knew. The Remus Sirius knew was caring and loving and kind, everything he could ever dream of finding in a partner. He told Hope so.

"Good, that's good," Hope said. "Sirius tends to get that way when he feels he can't control the situation. But with you he's seems very comfortable and relaxed. I would say he's quite smitten with you."

Sirius blushed.

"And you with him?" Hope asked.

"I love him," Sirius confessed. It didn't feel weird confessing it to Hope. He wanted Hope to know. "Remus is the most amazing person I've ever met. He's good to me and I do my best to be good to him and make him happy."

"I don't think you need to worry about that, son. The way he's been talking about you all fall, the way he smiles whenever you walk into the room, the way he can't be more than two feet away from you - I'd say you make him very happy."

Sirius couldn't help the huge grin on his face. Remus had been very attentive to him since they got there. Sirius had thought it was because Remus wanted to make sure Sirius would feel at ease with spending Christmas in a new home. Maybe Sirius's reasons were something else. Maybe Remus just wanted to be close to Sirius.

"Remus has never brought someone home to me before. You're very special to him, I hope you know that."

Sirius knew, Remus had told him. Hearing Hope saying it though, made it somehow more real.

New Year's Eve was spent naked in Remus's bed. Hope was at a friend's house and the urge to be together had been building over the week. As soon as Hope was out of the house, Remus found himself being dragged upstairs. Remus liked it when Sirius showed this want for him. It made him feel special. Chosen.

At midnight, still naked in bed, they shared soft kisses. Sirius promised to always let Remus know how special he was. Remus promised to kiss Sirius wherever and whenever Sirius wanted him to.

"I want kisses here," Sirius said and pointed at his inner thigh.

Remus chuckled. "When I said 'wherever', I meant different places, like the park or in the movies or on campus. Not body parts."

"Why not?" Sirius's pout was as adorable as it got according to Remus. "This is where I would most like to be kissed."

After that, Remus couldn't stop himself from kissing Sirius's inner thigh even if he wanted to. Besides, he knew how ticklish Sirius was there, and what beautiful sounds he made when he was being kissed there.

Saying goodbye to Hope was hard. Sirius tried not to cry, but there were tears in the corner of his eyes when Hope hugged him goodbye. He dried them before anyone could see them. Hope was everything Sirius dreamed a Mother would be growing up. Remus held his hand the entire ride to the airport and on the plane home. They didn't talk about it, but Remus knew where Sirius's melancholy was coming from and that was enough for Sirius.

Remus wanted to do something special for Valentine's Day. Picnics were kind of their thing, but the February weather promised nothing but rain. Still he wanted to make a special picnic for Sirius.

Remus proceeded to bribe his roommate to stay away from their room, but he only laughed, told Remus to keep his money because he was planning to spend the night with his girlfriend. He promised not to return until the next day.

Remus couldn't cook, not the way Sirius and Lily could. Instead, he spent a greater part of the afternoon at his favorite deli, tasting and carefully selecting food he thought Sirius would like.

Back in his room, he lit as many candles as he could find, placed a blanket on the floor in the middle of the room, showered, put on the same bowtie as on their first picnic together, and waited for Sirius to arrive.

When he opened the door for Sirius, he was met by a sea of sunflowers. His favorites. He liked them a million times better than red roses. And Sirius knew that.

"Sunflowers for my sunshine," Sirius said.

There was a note with the flowers that read:

So there's this boy I know

And the way he laughs makes me smile

And the way he talks gives me butterflies

And everything about him makes me happy

Remus threw himself in Sirius's arms, almost knocking him to the floor.

“I didn’t know you were such a poet”

Sirius chuckled at first, but then he went silent.

"What have you done, Remus?"

Remus smiled into Sirius's neck. Sirius had noticed the candles.

"Wow… this is… it's beautiful, Remus."

"Come," Remus said and led Sirius by the hand to the center of the room, and sat him down on the blanket. "Wait here a second."

Remus hurried to the kitchen to find a vase for the flowers. When he returned, Sirius was still sitting in awe on the floor.

"How many candles did you light?" Sirius asked.

Remus put the vase on the floor, all other spaces occupied by candles, and sat down next to Sirius.

"Not enough," Remus teased. "There might still be some free space over by the window."

"You're just too adorable for words," Sirius said. "I love it. I love you." Sirius leant in and placed a kiss on Remus's cheek.

"I love you. And the flowers," Remus answered and gave Sirius a proper kiss. A kiss on the cheek wouldn't do on Valentine's Day.

"I can't believe you did all this. It's the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me."

That statement raised a question in Remus. He knew he shouldn't care, that it wasn't important, but the question was there and he knew it would keep poking for attention if he didn't ask it.

"How many boyfriends have you had?" Remus asked.

"You really want to talk about past boyfriends on Valentine's Day?" Sirius asked, his voice skeptical.

"No, you're right," Remus said, but he couldn't help but wonder if it had been that many.

"Three," Sirius said next as if he could read Remus's mind. "My first was in high school. It was sweet and innocent, but we were both shy and inexperienced. The second was my second year here. It was short and intense. And totally lacked all the romance I wanted."

Remus wondered if Sirius had had more guys like that. Not boyfriends, but guys he'd had brief encounters with. He seemed so experienced, so confident when it came to those aspects of their relationship. Maybe it was that third guy who Sirius hadn't mentioned yet.

"And the third?" Remus asked.

"For a long time I thought he was the love of my life," Sirius said and Remus felt his heart sink. Sirius had been with someone he thought was the one. What did that make him to Sirius? Rebound?

"What happened?" Remus dared to ask even though he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to know the answer.

"Now I know he's the love of my life."

Remus was confused.

"It's you, Remus," Sirius clarified and chuckled before he drew Remus in to kiss away the confusion.

Remus was filled with emotions, couldn't really control them and before he knew how, he had Sirius pinned to the floor. His body pressed against Sirius's, kissing him senseless, forgetting all about food and romantic picnics.

"I love you, I love you, I love you," Remus said, his voice hoarse from all the emotions he was feeling. "You're my first boyfriend, and I want you to be my last too. You're everything I've ever dreamt of, and ten times more."

Sirius smiled and kissed him back. Then a little worried, "Don't you want to experience more? You're still young, maybe there's someone else that is a better match for you."

Remus didn't like it when Sirius talked like that. He propped himself up on bended arms on Sirius's chest. "You're it for me, Sirius. I don't want anyone else."

Sirius seemed a little shy and insecure, it wasn't something Remus had noticed before. It made him love Sirius even more.

"You believe me when I say it, right? I might be young and inexperienced, but I know what I want. I know what true love feels like. It's this. This feeling I feel when I'm with you."

"Remus…" Sirius sighed in awe. "Whatever did I do to deserve you?"

"I've been asking myself that same question," Remus said. "I mean, about me deserving you," he quickly added when he heard how that sounded.

Sirius chuckled and Remus could practically hear him think too adorable.

"Is there any food that comes with this picnic?" Sirius asked after more kisses.

"Oh shit!" Remus said but quickly put his hands over his mouth. Remus never spoke like that but he had completely forgotten about the food.

By the end of semester everything was super crazy hectic and Remus hardly got to spend any time with Sirius. He knew the reasons, knew that Sirius was graduating, but that didn't stop him from missing Sirius like crazy. He wanted life to be like those first months when they spent practically all of their time together.

Remus was busy too, exams and essays filling his days, so it wasn't that he was sitting around waiting for Sirius. But still he couldn't help but feel set aside. He knew he shouldn't feel like that. He knew Sirius had to work hard to get the grades he wanted. It would be over in a couple of months and then things would go back to normal.

He didn't mention it to Sirius. He took the time with him that he could get, did his best to make Sirius feel relaxed when they were together.

One night in Sirius's room, when it was after midnight and Sirius thought that Remus was sleeping, Sirius sneaked out of bed to return to his books. Remus watched him from bed and was just about to tell him to come back and sleep when he heard Sirius mutter to himself.

"I can't wait to be finished with this and move out of here."

Something struck him then, and he wondered why it hadn't dawned on him earlier. After graduation Sirius wouldn't have a reason to stay on campus. An unsettled feeling moved into his body that night. Sirius was leaving. Where did that leave Remus?

Even after Sirius came back to bed, Remus couldn't fall asleep. He was up all night wondering why Sirius hadn't mentioned where he would go after graduation or what would happen to them. It was still months away, but surely Sirius must have figured out what he was going to do next. Things wouldn't go back to normal after graduation, that was suddenly clear to Remus.

The next couple of weeks he waited for Sirius to bring it up in conversation. He never did. One sleepless night, Remus decided to bring it up himself. He couldn't live longer without knowing what was going to happen to them.

"Sirius?" Remus asked one warm early May evening when they were lying on a blanket on a field of grass on campus grounds, the last lingering rays of sun reflecting in Sirius's eyes.

"Yes, Love?"

They laid next to each other on their stomachs, propped up on their elbows. Now Sirius had shifted to his side and was looking directly at Remus, like he could hear from the tone in Remus's voice that this was important.

"What are your plans for after graduation? We never really talked about that."

"You know I will be assisting my professor in one of the summer classes, I told you. Didn't I?"

Sirius had. But that's not what Remus meant.

"After that," Remus said. "What are you going to do? Where are you going to stay? I mean, you can't stay on campus much longer."

Remus wanted to ask what about us, but he didn't dare. He was afraid of the answer.

"Well…" Sirius started, a worried smile on his lips. "I didn't want to say anything because nothing's really settled yet."

Sirius paused. Remus braced himself.

"I've been talking to one of my professors, and if everything turns out the way I want it to, I'll be a TA next year."

Sirius smiled. Remus frowned. TA? That's not what Sirius wanted to do.

"But I thought you wanted to work at an interior design company until you had enough money to start your own."

"I do and I will. Later," Sirius said.

"Why later? Why not now?" Remus asked. He was sure Sirius could get a job as an interior designer anywhere.

"I thought that… but maybe I was wrong… I just…" Sirius mumbled, making no sense at all.

"What?" Remus was confused. "You thought what?"

"I thought maybe you wanted me around…" Sirius took a deep breath. "I don't want to be away from you, Remus."

Sirius was staying for him. Sirius was putting his future on hold for him. Remus couldn't wrap his mind around it. But Remus couldn't be the one holding Sirius back, no matter how much he wanted to. He couldn't be that selfish.

"You can't stay because of me," Remus said.

"I'm staying because I want to. I can't imagine living anywhere you are not, Remus. Besides working as a TA is something I've wanted to do, I've just been focusing on other things this year."

It was a lot to take in. Sirius was staying. Partly because of him, because he didn't want to be away from him. But Sirius was doing something he wanted to do. Remus wasn't holding him back. Remus was beyond happy. He'd get to be near Sirius for another year.

"Don't you want me around anymore?" An uncertain Sirius asked. There was a worried wrinkle between his eyes.

Remus hadn't said anything, lost in his own happy thoughts and now Sirius was doubting him. That he couldn't have.

Remus rolled on top of Sirius on the blanket and peppered him with kisses. "I want you around forever, I thought we had established that."

"I want that, too," Sirius said, worry gone. "I want to be around you forever."

They kissed for an eternity, not caring if any one saw them. It was getting dark, shadows were becoming longer, people were leaving the park, but there were still people around that could see them. But to Remus the world had faded away to something dull in the background, all his attention, all his senses, were focused on the beautiful man lying beneath him.

"I've been looking at apartments in the city, and there's one I really like," Sirius said when kissing wasn't a necessity anymore. "It has large windows facing the park with the beautiful pink Magnolia and Japanese cherry trees. Have you seen those?"

Remus nodded. There were numerous of them in the park, and now in May they were in full bloom. He could imagine how beautiful that view must be.

"It has a nice kitchen and it's not too big. I think I'm going to take that one."

"Is there room for a roommate?" Remus asked, not knowing where he got the courage to ask. Sirius made him brave, and the thought of living together with Sirius was just exhilarating.

Sirius closed his eyes and bit his lips. Remus worried that he had asked for too much. Maybe Sirius wanted to continue to live on his own and only have Remus over a couple of nights a week. It wasn't a bad setup, Remus could live with that. Although now that the thought had entered his head, he kind of felt disappointed.

But then a smile started to spread across Sirius's lips. "Remus…" Sirius said, shook his head and laughed a little.

"What?" Remus asked, wondering what Sirius found so amusing.

"I was going to ask you when everything was more settled," Sirius said. "I wanted to do something special for our eight month anniversary. I wanted it to be a surprise."

"Oh God, I'm sorry, Sirius…" Remus said, feeling bad for ruining Sirius's surprise. But at the same time, Sirius was going to ask him to move in. Sirius wanted to live with him! Remus thought he might be the happiest person awake tonight.

Sirius only laughed, causing Remus to bounce on top of him.

"Is that a yes then?" Remus asked. Just to make sure.

"Yes, Love, there is room for a roommate," Sirius said and kissed Remus, although it was hard to kiss when there were two of them smiling like idiots.

Then Sirius became serious. "Are you sure you don't want to continue to live in the dorms? You seem to enjoy living there."

"Sirius. Are you crazy? I like the dorms, you're right about that. I like my roommate, he's really cool, but living with you… How can you think I'd prefer living in the dorms to living with you?"

"I don't know… you're still young, you still have several years left and if you live with me, you wouldn't be on campus anymore, and there'll be so much you'll miss out on."

"The city isn't that far away, Sirius. I can still be a part of campus life," Remus said. "Besides I'm not that young, you have to stop thinking like that. I love you, Sirius. I want to spend as much time with you as possible and living with you would be a dream."

"God, I love you so much, Remus."

Remus smiled. Hearing Sirius say those words always did that to him. "You have to learn to trust me when I say I want to be with you forever. Because I mean it, and I don't want you to doubt that."

"I know. It's just my love for you is so strong it scares me sometimes and I'm scared I'll make a mistake and screw up."

Remus didn't like it when Sirius doubted himself, but he understood his feelings. He used to feel like that too. Now though, he just felt an enormous trust in Sirius and in their feelings for each other.

"I don't think there is anything you can do to screw this up," Remus said and gave Sirius a peck on his nose.

"I can make a call if you want to see the apartment," Sirius said and picked up his phone from beside him on the blanket.

"Now? It's almost nine, Sirius."

"So?" Sirius said as if the time of night made no difference.

Maybe it didn't. Remus decided not to worry about it. If Sirius didn't think the time was an issue, neither would Remus.

"I would love to!" Remus was excited. For the first time in weeks he felt excited. He didn't feel set aside, though he knew he never was - it was only in his head. He loved Sirius and they were going to live together. Actually share their lives together.

"We're really doing this," Sirius said after he had made the call and arranged a meeting 30 minutes later. "Living together." He sounded like he couldn't believe it but still he wore the biggest smile.

"I can't wait for all the late night cuddles," Remus said.

"And all the morning cuddles," Sirius countered.

"And everything in between," Remus added with a knowing smile.

"God, you're so adorable." Sirius pulled Remus close and kissed him.

They kissed until they had to leave. Remus had butterflies in his belly all the way to the apartment, excitement about seeing his future home rose high in his chest and he held on tight to Sirius's hand all the way there.

The apartment was more amazing than Sirius had described it to him. Yes, it was small and it only had one bedroom that barely fitted a full size bed, but it wasn't like they needed more space than that. And the view… Remus fell in love with the view of the pink trees from the large windows in the living room.

"When are we moving in?" Remus turned his eyes away from the view and smiled at Sirius.

"Not soon enough," was Sirius's reply. He wrapped his arms around Remus's waist, sighed blissfully as his eyes turned shiny. "I can't believe I'm going to live with the most beautiful man in the world."

**Author's Note:**

> AHHHH this was so fun to write, i hope you enjoyed!!!


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